So I'm here, I'm here and it's crazy and ridiculous and my mind has got ahold of me. There is no downhill or uphill, there is this stagnant place I'm begging to keep. Every day is really cold, every day I'm wanting so badly of a future where I can be warmed by my own love. A confidence in someone else. There is no pretender to my happiness, no lie that can be told for it. I'm happy, I guess. Or at least I have this burning potential to be, but my cynical existence of the past while still has a grasping hold on my wall to stay up. He's breaking it down, piece by piece, and I'm not sure I'm okay with where they may take me. This is not safe. I am not safe missing him.